Are you defined by the opinions of others?

Shakespeare once said "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages."

Hearing this quote and seeing the picture above brought two questions to mind:

• How often do we conform to the preconceived notions people hold of us without really noticing?
• How many of us believe our existence depends on the approval of others!

It is well documented that people form opinions/judgements/assumptions by what they see in a person physically, and respond to that person accordingly. In turn, people tend to fulfil the expectations they believe others have for them- YOU THINK, THEREFORE I MUST BE! So, how often are we unknowingly playing the part of ourselves not actually being ourselves in this life?

When asked the question “Who would play you in a movie of your life?” rarely is the answer “I would” until we get bored, frustrated or too confined by conforming to other people’s preconceived ideas. (Remember The Mask I Wear Poem http://www.steviekidd.co.uk/blog/the-mask-i-wear/ ) OR something happens in life (sadly often traumatic, illness or bereavement) which changes our mindset and we no longer believe that our existence depends on the approval of others but only on the approval of ourselves!

But perhaps we need to see ourselves as others see us! When looking in a mirror we see what we expect to see but when we see ourselves on film (yes everyone hates it and everyone cringes!) we see the true us- facial expressions, gestures, language patterns, body shape and the reaction others have to us AND MORE IMPORTANTLY HOW WE RESPOND TO THEM! When we see the reality of how we are responding to people and situations we can develop the confidence to become our own agent of change and not be defined by others

So whether we are on the stage playing those various roles, or hiding behind a series of masks, by leading this double life it becomes apparent that the problem is within US and not other people! We are playing the character, or wearing the mask of what WE believe we would like. That’s right WE not THEY believe we would like!!

Learn to like yourself, stop categorising others, listen to people (actually listen not just the half an ear listening we can all be guilty of!), accept that everyone (including you!) has weakness’s and imperfections, Be happy – happiness is catching it rubs off on others!, have goals, aim high and strive to achieve them! When we do this we start defining ourselves!

FROM TODAY decide that your definition of yourself is not defined by others! No longer “you think therefore I must be” make it “I know therefore I will be!”

1 Comment

Posted by caroline gormley on 21 October 2011

the quote "You think therefore I must be" was a play of words on Descartes "I think therefore I am"....intention behind the quote that I did was to show that people do have preconceived notions about us and that we react to these ideas....and no matter what way we chose to behave people will always come to their own conclusions anyway based on past experience and other peoples opinions. I feel that we have to stay true to ourselves and not feel pressurised by the society we live in. Why live up to other peoples expectations....it doesn''t make you happy.....Have goals, work towards them and be strong and most of all believe in yourself....when you believe in yourself other people will believe in you. :) YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT TO DO.....as long as its legal :)x

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